In the course of my deep dive into the history of the American Mafia, one particularly infamous member of the Mafia drew my attention: Roy DeMeo. A notorious hitman loyal to Paul Castellano, he and his crew are suspected of as many as 200 murders. They became so proficient at murdering victims and disposing of bodies that their modus operandi became known as ‘the Gemini Method’, named after the lounge that served as their headquarters.

As it turns out, DeMeo had a son and he has written a book about life with his father. He never tries to excuse his father’s actions or deny who he was. His goal with his book is to simply give the second side of the story. Yes, Roy DeMeo was a monster but, in the author’s words, for 23 hours out of every day, he was a loving father who took care of his family.

The early scenes of the book were the most interesting to me. Albert recounts how, as a young boy, he knew that everyone seemed to admire and respect his father, yet he had no idea what his dad did for a living. He carried a gun but wasn’t a cop. He carried lots of cash around but wasn’t a banker. He did know that his father owned a car dealership but was never there. So that was the story he told whenever some kid or teacher asked what his father did.

As he got to about 8 years old, Albert’s father made no effort to hide his vocation from his only son. Roy was grooming his son to follow his same path one day. This also struck me as interesting as in other books I’ve read about the Mafia, it seems there’s a bit of a split over whether children should be brought up into the ‘Family’. Some mafiosi don’t want their children living the same dangerous lifestyle as them while others believe that to not bring your children into the life of crime is a tacit admission that what they are doing is wrong and unacceptable.

Albert recounts two particular stories that clearly scarred him more than others. In one, as a ten year old he was relaxing with his father and his friends at one of their safehouses. His father left a revolver on the table next to Albert and walked into the next room. Suddenly a masked man burst into the apartment with a gun and pointed it at one of Roy’s friends. Terrified and confused, Albert snatched up the revolver, aimed at the intruder, and pulled the trigger.

Click.

The gun was empty. The intruder pulled off a mask to reveal himself as one of Roy’s friends. His father had set the whole thing up, staging a break in and leaving an unloaded gun with his ten year old son to see if he’d do the ‘right’ thing, that is to pull the trigger on somebody. Roy and the crew cheered for Albert, but Albert recounts how violently sick he felt.

The second formative event came later as an older teenager. His father would occasionally send him to collect money he was owed from some of his illicit business partners. One was a brothel, one that catered to particularly sick, sordid customers. Without getting into details, Albert recounts how the smells and sights of that building have stuck with him his entire life. When he finally got out with the money, he ran home, threw his clothes into the trash, and sat in the shower just crying.

For the Sins of my Father is a tough read at times. As both a son and father myself it’s horrifying to put myself into Albert’s shoes. I can’t even imagine growing up in such a lifestyle, nor could I imagine sending my son into such despicable places, putting him through diabolical tests of loyalty.

Eventually, Roy DeMeo is gunned down. After he and his crew caught too much heat from law enforcement, it was decided by the Commission that Roy needed to be ‘whacked’. According to Albert, his father knew it was coming and went willingly to a meeting that he knew would end with his murder. It’s impossible to know how true that is, but it’s what Albert believes.

The last 30% of the book or so is how Albert’s life spiraled out of control after his father’s death. Despite everything he knew about Roy’s criminal business, he loved the man and the man loved him. If only half of what Albert says is true, then Roy DeMeo was certainly a good father in terms of providing for and showing love to his children. Things got worse and worse for Albert until he eventually attempted suicide, more than once.

Mercifully, he finally found the strength to get help for himself and by all accounts is now leading a normal, healthy life.

All in all, I’m glad I read this book. For all the outsider perspectives and opinions about the Mafia that I’ve consumed, getting an insider’s glimpse was both fascinating and heartbreaking. I can recommend it to anyone with an interest in the American Mafia or the life of crime in general.